difficulty working through cloth/modesty issues (mine!)

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forgetful

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HI,

This feels like a very silly problem, but, as a recent grad, I have difficulty working through the sheet OR underwear. I can't feel the muscles well, and when i can I don't feel like i can properly work them since the cloth slides around too much. The issue comes up most for the glutes, but would be true anywhere. Compressions or pressure points seem like my only option, and maybe cross-fiber friction at muscle insertions or across the muscle belly, though it doesn't feel very effective. I feel so inept at it that I wish I'd practiced this in school.

On a related note, and I'm sure I just need to get over this, I think that if someone is modest enough to leave their underwear on, it feels invasive to me to work over it or even touch it. It also seems to cross MY modesty boundary, which may make no sense to anyone. I'm comfortable working on the body itself, but underwear seems like a very personal thing. If I need to get to the sacrum I'll ask someone to roll their waistband down, but it feels inappropriate to do it myself. One woman told me that she always keeps her underwear on but her therapists usually work under the waistband, and that would be completely unintuitive to me.

Any help you can provide (and a "get over it" is just fine, but especially on technique) would be great! Thanks.
 


I think you will get used to it soon and most people don't have a problem with it. I just push whatever is in my way aside, easier for me to apply deeper pressure and hone in on knots.
 


Check out this thread:
http://www.massageplanet.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4390

You'll see everyone has different opinions on this issue. You might find an idea or technique that works for you.
 


I always explain to the client that they should undress to their comfort level. This could mean anything from completely undressing to leaving everything on. I also explain how the draping will work and assure them they will not be fully (every nook and cranny) uncovered, even for glute work. When I return to the room I take my cue from them. If they have left their underwear on I tuck the sheet over the underwear and fold it back exposing as much of the low back as is possible, but I do not work under the garment. I do compressions and spend the extra time on the upper leg that is exposed. I think communicating what will be done if they leave more clothing on versus what will happen if they take more clothing off makes them more comfortable and puts the power in their hands and I can save my mind reading skills for other stuff (lol).
 
Modesty

I have never had any modesty about working someone's glutes. My mindset is that of a therapist and healer, and that comes through in my energies. So, touching and working means healing.

My school taught that if the client keeps their underwear on, you work the glutes by doing compressions through the sheet and underwear. I tend to agree with this as I feel most people leaving their underwear on are telling me that they don't want to be touched (skin on skin) in that area. I will not try to do regular massage through the garments. It is too hard on my hands, and probably does not feel good to the client. This is pretty much what I do in my practice.

I currently teach at a corporate college, and my boss has a very good thought process on this. He says that if we can't see the tissue, we should not work it because there could be contraindications under the clothing. Since the school demands that all students leave their underwear on during trades, he came up with another solution. We undrape the glute, and then pull the underwear up form the leg opening, basically uncovering the glute area. The leg opening stretches (it has to be stretchy underwear) and sits up in the butt crack. The drape is then tucked into the underwear to help keep it in place. (The downside is that this gives the client a wedgie. :D )

He is very right in that if someone were to have contraindications (and no client tells us everything), then we are risking our licenses to work an area that we can't inspect. This allows us to work and leave the client their modesty.

Now, as far as my practice goes, I pretty much go with option A. If they leave underwear on, I will do compression throught the garments. I will never work under the garments as I have had that done to me (a therapist I went to years ago made me leave my underwear on), and it stretched out my underwear and did not feel good. Now, if I feel strongly enough about them needing very low back / glute wotk, I will tell them how I feel and ask them if I can pull their underwear down (just off the glutes) so I can work there. If they say yes, I work both sides and then cover them back up. If not, I go back to plan A.

As you get more experience, you will get a better feel for this. I know working the glutes is a very personal thing, and a new therapist might be concerned about their client's reaction. As long as your mind is on healing, you will be fine.

Take care.
 


I gotta say if a Mt gave me a wedgie, I wouldn't be happy. Just my thought on that.

For the OP, I think you will get use to it. We get trained to work on the skin so it is harder not to. My later training in Shiatsu makes is easier at times to actually work through clothes.

Don't hesitate to tell clients that if they want glute work, it is best if they remove the undies unless that makes them uncomfortable. chances are they will.
 


I had another MT PULL MY UNDERWEAR DOWN (!!!) during a massage, and it was teeny little underwear, and it felt really weird. Also, he didn't put it back, either. It felt like he was undressing me or something. The rest of the massage was weird, too, but, that part especially. I don't like it, underwear is a boundary...I think moving an inch or so under it if you HAVE to is alright, but, I think it should be respected....IMHO :D
 


lotuslightmassage said:
I had another MT PULL MY UNDERWEAR DOWN (!!!) during a massage, and it was teeny little underwear, and it felt really weird. Also, he didn't put it back, either. It felt like he was undressing me or something. The rest of the massage was weird, too, but, that part especially. I don't like it, underwear is a boundary...I think moving an inch or so under it if you HAVE to is alright, but, I think it should be respected....IMHO :D

I had a massage therapist pull my underwear DOWN, also.
http://www.massageplanet.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=84971&highlight=#84971

ack!
 


softhearted515 said:
I gotta say if a Mt gave me a wedgie, I wouldn't be happy. Just my thought on that.


*hehe* Ditto, for sure! There goes my nice relaxing moment // or intense concentration, depending on the type of massage.

(I'll try to edit this later for a response to the OP also. --- 09/20/09 --See below.)

I have difficulty working through the sheet OR underwear. I can't feel the muscles well, and when i can I don't feel like i can properly work them since the cloth slides around too much. The issue comes up most for the glutes, but would be true anywhere. Compressions or pressure points seem like my only option, and maybe cross-fiber friction at muscle insertions or across the muscle belly, though it doesn't feel very effective.

I think that if someone is modest enough to leave their underwear on, it feels invasive to me to work over it or even touch it. It also seems to cross MY modesty boundary...

Don't feel bad, we all have something that gets us.

May I suggest that the threads provided will probably have a lot of good info and also the following:

If you are having your own modesty issues about working over a clients underware, let them know ahead of time that if they choose to leave their underware on, you won't work those regions.

If you do eventually become comfortable with working over the underware, I'd suggest working with a blanket. Forearm and elbow copressions when done right can be extra effective on the gluteal region - just make sure and include the sacral edges when appropriate as working them increases effectiveness in many instances that I have found.

Good luck!
 
Modesty

Brian said:
We undrape the glute, and then pull the underwear up form the leg opening, basically uncovering the glute area. The leg opening stretches (it has to be stretchy underwear) and sits up in the butt crack. The drape is then tucked into the underwear to help keep it in place. (The downside is that this gives the client a wedgie. :D )

That would make me not go back to that MT. I agree that visual info is important, but if I've been very clear w/the client that it's their choice what to leave on or take off, I'm not going to re-make that choice for them with dramatic, uncomfortable shifts of what they've chosen to leave on. Up or down. It's their body, not mine.
 


moose-goose,

Yikes! That sounds awful! Mine was awful too. After he pulled my thong undies down, he pressed on my post.illiac crest so hard that he left bruises! He also heavy breathed the whole time (not because it was hard work, it was very deliberate heavy breathing). He also didn't do any intake, and didn't even ask how it was or how I felt--mostly because he thinks he is the bees knees.

Some people's kids..... ;)
 


lotuslightmassage said:
moose-goose,

Yikes! That sounds awful! Mine was awful too. After he pulled my thong undies down, he pressed on my post.illiac crest so hard that he left bruises! He also heavy breathed the whole time (not because it was hard work, it was very deliberate heavy breathing). He also didn't do any intake, and didn't even ask how it was or how I felt--mostly because he thinks he is the bees knees.

Some people's kids..... ;)

I think our "Massage Therapists" must have gone to the same school, hahahahah!!!!!
 
thank you!

Hi everyone,
I didn't realize so much was being left on this post, thank you for so many responses! I really appreciated the idea that you could just say (even though I realize it is not ideal at all) "If you leave your underwear on, I won't work that region"--I actually think that would be the most graceful way to ensure they take their underwear off, as a lot of people leave it on for YOUR sake rather than theirs. But I do think i'm getting better and less concerned about it, and have employed some of the draping suggestions y'all have made (the wedgie one does seem a little uncomfortable). More often if they leave underwear on I'll work over both it and the sheet, which fixes my modesty issues, using the suggested compressions. It's interesting how some people can work under the underwear and it won't seem invasive at all. And then there's those other people.

So much of it has to do with the therapist having a completely caring energy (eureka!).
Thank you again for your support!!!
 
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    Tomorrow@Sunrise Relaxation Downtown: ๐Ÿ’–Angela, ๐Ÿ’–Olivia, ๐Ÿ’–Lisa and ๐Ÿ’–Kitty will be on shift. Call (416)500-0921 for detail schedule and insight info
  35. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Tuesday June 3, 2025, our attendants will be Ada ๏ธ, Christina ๐Ÿ”ฅ, Cici ๐Ÿค—, Ivy ๐Ÿ˜, Monica ๐Ÿฅฐ and Connie ๐Ÿฅฐ. Call us at โ˜Ž๏ธ(905) 479-6668โ˜Ž๏ธ to book!
  36. SL Spa:
    ๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™€๐Ÿ’–Monday ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’– Ultimate destination for Asian massages๐ŸŽ‰ Two fab spots: SL Richmond Hill & SL West Oakvilleโœจ Your passport to paradise with 10 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea โ€” Top Star Jenny, ๐Ÿ†• Elsa, Coco, Eva, Cindy, Kelly, Amber, Busty Echo, Jenny, JPN Yui & Juliet โ€” ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽˆ Hit up 647-695-6354๐Ÿค™ or text to ๐Ÿ“ฑ647-578-8169 โœจ160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, Richmond Hill ๐Ÿ’ฐWhere Eastern charm meets Western comfort - your bliss awaits๐Ÿ™Œ
  37. wilson holistic centre:
    new girl works at ๐Ÿ’‹535 Evans Ave today ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ416-531-6969โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ
  38. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน2 girls ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ5124 Dundas St W Etobicokeโ˜Ž๏ธ416-817-3366๐Ÿ‘ Table Shower Sea Salt Bath Body Scrub๐Ÿ˜˜ Japanese girl Nina โค๏ธ Natural Big Boobs 38 DD ๐Ÿ˜˜Pink Mini Nipples Hot body slide, super enjoyable๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ very provocative service๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜, professional super Luna deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธYou are welcome to make an appoint
  39. wonderspa:
    ๐ŸŒบWonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800โ˜Ž๏ธbest massage in vaughan,๐Ÿ’„sexy very young girl Mimi๏ผŒlong legs ,natural c cup,very good looking amazing massage nice body slide,really popular ๐ŸŽlong hair mina smile,beautiful strong to relax oil ,back walk,more experience amazing body slide โค๏ธnice Vietnamese Amy open mind,everything she can do,really popular girl,must try๐Ÿ”ฅ๐ŸŽˆ๐Ÿ‘
  40. Withme_Spa:
    ๐Ÿ’•โฃ4386 Sheppard Avenue east ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’˜Monday, ๐Ÿ’—โฃ๐Ÿ’‹ Cici, ๐Ÿ’—tall and slim, nice personality, pretty, very good pressure point treatment and over the top finish technique..๐Ÿ’‹โฃ Natalia, โคa full body Spanish lady, curvy, beautiful, awesome treatment and memorable finish ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’‹โ€ŠEva, ๐Ÿ’–curvy, beautiful, awesome treatment and memorable finish . ๐Ÿ’ž Jessica,๐Ÿ’‹ slim, and sexy body, very pretty. High energy session ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’‹ ๐Ÿ”‹416 297-7488๐Ÿ”‹
  41. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’JENNYโ€™S SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…5170 DUNDAS STREET WESTโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ( 647-893-5196)โ˜Ž๏ธCall or Text โ˜Ž๏ธ( 437-888-3759)โ˜Ž๏ธCall Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…GRAND OPENING๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅEXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNYโ€™S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅTWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฏREAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‹Limited Time Special Promotion๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‹ โœ…๐Ÿ’ฆ30 Minutes Nude Mass
  42. AliceSpa:
    MONDAY at ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—œ๐—–๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต๐Ÿด-๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿด๐Ÿต๐Ÿด. 3 Sexy Young Girls Today at Alice Spa. Open 10am to 9pm : CLOUDIA is Vietnamese, young, petite 5'2" & 96 Lbs, B Cup, best rim deep bbbj cim. $40 Room Fee + $80 (incl bbbj & fs). +$20 for rim/cim. Excellent open minded services. JESSICA is from Hong Kong, super busty D Cup, 5'2", 109 Lbs, curvy, soft white skin
  43. lemon_tree:
    ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’•a discreet entrance to 4155 Sheppard Avenue east, unit 201๐Ÿ’—โฃ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’–Monday, ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ’‹ Carmen,๐Ÿ’‹ (Candy) โฃbeautiful, dark hair to shoulder, tall and slim but busty, and does very relaxing treatment with over the top finish. *Also goes by Lily. ๐Ÿ’‹โฃ๐Ÿ“ž647 348-2899๐Ÿ“ž
  44. FLOWER Spa โ€“ PINK | Scarborough | TORONTO:
    PINK FS โ€“ 3300 McNicoll Ave ๐Ÿ“ž 416-299-5515 / 416-817-3839 ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท ELINA, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ KELLY, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ MIKA, ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ MADY (11AM) ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookingpinklove
  45. FLOWER Spa - BLUEXADO | Thornhill | VAUGHAN:
    BLUEXADO FS โ€“ #06-1102 Centre St ๐Ÿ“ž 416-357-9797 / 416-678-8668 ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ CICI, ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ AMY, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด MEGAN ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookingbluexadolove
  46. Spa in Markham:
    GOLDEN FS โ€“ 8380 Kennedy Rd ๐Ÿ“ž 905-258-0777 / 416-688-6886 ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ ROXY, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ MY LINH, ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ VANESSA, ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ SONIA (8PM) ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookinggoldenlove
  47. ForeverWarden:
    Monday at ๐Ÿซฆโค๏ธ๐Ÿ”ดโ™พ๏ธ๐“•๐“ž๐“ก๐“”๐“ฅ๐“”๐“ก ๐“ข๐“Ÿ๐“โ™พ๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐Ÿ”ดโค๏ธ๐Ÿซฆ 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฌ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด๐Ÿณ: Bella, Yumi & Cindy. Bella is around 5โ€™3โ€ with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Yumi is a young half Chinese / /half Korean very sexy & slim beauty, can do bbbj cim, excellent services... Cindy
  48. EMSpa_schedule:
    ๐ŸŒนWe're waiting for you!๐ŸŒน Today (Monday), our amazing attendants are Ivy ๐Ÿ˜˜, Lucy ๐Ÿ˜˜, Vicky ๐Ÿ˜˜, Mia ๐Ÿค— and Sophie ๐Ÿคฉ. Call us at โ˜Ž๏ธ (905) 479-6668 โ˜Ž๏ธ to book your favourite and head on over to 7665 Kennedy Road, Unit 4, Markham!
  49. HolidaySpa:
    Monday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธ: AMY, LINDA & CINDY. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Donโ€™t miss out on her special skills! LINDA is a sweet Vietnamese honey with great skills. CINDY is a slim & incredibly sexy lady with
  50. Red_Pearl_Spa:
    โค๐Ÿ’‹4385 Sheppard Avenue east, unit 5๐Ÿ”บ๏ธ๐Ÿ’‹โฃ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ”ดMonday, ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’‹ Tammy, โฃfull body treatment by an amazing attendant. good overall treatment. ๐Ÿ’‹โฃ โ˜Ž๏ธ 647 352-1588โ˜Ž๏ธ
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