Never Enough Pressure

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Sooo Happy

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I am a frequent receiver of massage and bodywork and while I enjoy this I am almost always (like 95% of the time) left wanting more pressure. Most of the time I ask for more, sometimes repeatedly, and it just doesn't usually happen.

Does anyone else have this problem? Does anyone have any suggestions? I always make of point when booking to let them know that I want someone who can do really strong/deep work.

And in case it makes any difference, I am an active female in my 40s.

Thanks.
 
Never Enough Pressure

I don't know why, but it seems that non-overweight, active middle-aged women can take the most pressure, on average. At least that is a generalization I can make in all the people I've worked on.

I have a few thoughts. Do you normally get massages in a spa? While you can get deep pressure in a spa, sometimes spa-workers are doing many massages a day and can be more tired. OR they are used to giving "fluff and buff" type massages and it's hard for them to switch gears. I'm not saying spa therapists can't give good pressure, just that those might be some reasons why it may not happen.

Also, if you are petite, some therapists (especially newer therapists) can be very hesitant for fear of hurting you. You may want to go in with the request (to the therapist also, not just the receptionist) exactly as youv'e described it here and ask your therapist to work with you on a stroke by stroke basis to achieve appropriate pressure for your needs. Any therapist worth their salt should be happy to do that with you.

I would also suggest seeking out a massage therapist who is well known for their deep tissue skills. Maybe if you tell us what area you live in, someone on the board can give you a referral.
 
Never Enough Pressure

Shiva,

Thanks for the reply. I am about 5ft6 so not especially petite. I live in Chicago. (But I'm relatively new here.) I have run the gamut of places from the highest high end spa in the Gold Coast to more serious therapeutic oriented no frills massage places and almost everything in between. It's not a deal breaker for me, and it's a nice excuse to keep trying massage places, but I was beginning to wonder if maybe I wanted too much since it seems to happen almost all the time. Usually I think that means it's time to look at what you are bringing to the problem.

I am encouraged to know I should be able to find someone out there who can give me more pressure.

Thanks again.
 
Never Enough Pressure

I have a friend in Chicago whose MT does pretty intense work, according to him. I'm trying to contact him to find out her name. PM me if you'd like to know where to find her.
 
Never Enough Pressure

I have had many clients who will book a Swedish Massage rather than a Deep Tissue session and then ask for deep and focused work.
From my view point, this type of client wants the deeper work but are unwilling to pay the price differential. When they request more advanced work after the session has already begun, I will give them the option of upgrading to the correct service. If they choose not to do this, then I will give them the massage that they booked.

You might want to discuss what exactly your needs, expectations, and goals are at the time you are making your appointment.
That way, you can be matched with the appropriate therapist and service.

By "petite", I believe Shiva meant slender (skinny). This type of client will often need and want very firm pressure.
Some therapists are leary of "hurting" someone with a small frame or might be uncomfortable using heavy pressure when it feels like they are working on bone instead of muscle tissue.
You just need to keep looking for a massage therapist that is a better match, and be prepared to pay a premium for someone who has advanced training and many years of experience...it's worth it in the long run. A discount massage clinic will typically employ newer grads - and they may not be capable of giving you the work you prefer. And some of the most expensive hotel spas have low pay rates and they too will employ less experienced staff. Your best bet is often someone who is in private practice...and they can be hard to find, the best ones have full practices and take new clients by referral. Ask all of your friends and colleagues if they know of any great therapists. :D
 
Never Enough Pressure

A new client came a few weeks ago, bragging that the MT he used to go to used more pressure on him than any other client. I explained that I do Myofascial release and that would probably not be an issue.

I asked him to trust me for one session. He got way more relief than he expected and he was thrilled that it did not have to hurt for days to get the relief he wanted. He is now a regular client!

Deeper is not always better, especially if it forces the body into defence mode.
 
Never Enough Pressure

73Rabbit73 said:
It's not a deal breaker for me, and it's a nice excuse to keep trying massage places, but I was beginning to wonder if maybe I wanted too much since it seems to happen almost all the time. Usually I think that means it's time to look at what you are bringing to the problem.

I am encouraged to know I should be able to find someone out there who can give me more pressure.

Hard to make that call either way just by exchanging forum messages... but I am glad you are willing to consider what you may be bringing to the table, because that's where my mind went as I read your post.

Would you mind sharing what your purpose or intention is for receiving bodywork? I think the nature of your question changes depending on whether you are going for relaxation/stress management, other therapeutic outcomes, part of an overall wellness strategy, etc.

In any case, it could serve you to adjust the value you place on pressure. Have you ever received any kind of bodywork that wasn't so focused on physical pressure? If not, and if you can do so with an open mind, it might be valuable experience to receive some very different types of bodywork such as craniosacral, trager, rosen method, orthobionomy, polarity therapy... I'm sure others could point you in a number of other directions.

It could be interesting to spend some time experiencing several of those kinds of work (perhaps more than once) and then return to the kind of massage you've used to getting and see what changes you notice in your experience. Receiving bodywork, just like giving it, is a skillset that develops over time... and experimenting with receiving new and different kinds of work can develop those skills.

A different approach, if you feel like you are "craving" or "needing" more pressure and that this need might in fact only be a symbol for a deeper mind/body need, would be to work with some sort of somatic or psychological bodywork practitioner to explore what's there.

And finally, it really could just be that you have yet to find a practitioner who can give you the depth of work you're looking for. As I type that, it sounds unlikely to me given how much bodywork you say you've received, but only you can decide that and I want to leave room for it. You already know how to approach the issue the way you've been approaching it (try more bodyworkers) which is why I've suggested trying something different to see if you get different results.
 
Never Enough Pressure

I realize there is almost always an additional charge for deeper work. I make it clear when I book that I am looking for a deep/strong touch and that I am willing to pay for it. (I'm sure that's annoying when people are trying to get a little extra for nothing.)

I exercize regularly and I am at a healthy weight but I am not super lean. I wear a size 6/8.

I work on a computer quite a bit and I can often feel lumps, kinks and knots in my upper back. I would love it if they were gone or at least lessened.

I do believe that harder isn't always better and I am open to almost anything if it will give me some relief. I have noticed though that one thing that feels really food is if I pinch myself quite hard along the top ridge of my traps. (My husband can't believe that that could feel good to anyone.)

I get a massage about once a week and really, it feels to me like I could use one daily. I will keep looking and trying to find a better fit for me.

I was curious to know if this was a common problem or something unique to me. Also, I don't know if it makes any difference, but my Dad and two of my siblings are also often left wanting more pressure during a massage.

Thanks for all the replies
 
Never Enough Pressure

Receiving bodywork, just like giving it, is a skillset that develops over time...

As someone who recently started receiving bodywork on a regular basis as a way to deal with stress and overall wellness, I would love for EgoMagickian or someone else to elaborate on receiving bodywork as a skillset.

If there's already a thread on that subject, just point me in the right direction. :)
 
Never Enough Pressure

I want to add that I don't have an ego about this. I don't tell my practitioner that there is no way they'll be able to go hard enough for me. And I have a good attitude going in to the treatment in that I have realistic expectations and don't have a negative mindset before I've even been worked on.

And over the years I've had several MTs tell me I am a good receiver in case that makes any difference.
 
Never Enough Pressure

I only offer deep work in my office. I alway let people know that I don't offer a full body massage. This is a common struggle I hear client talk about 73Rabbit73.

The best thing to do is ask around. If you know any chiropractors ask them. And hopfully someone on this board can help find you a great MT :grin:
 
Never Enough Pressure

73Rabbit73,

Have you ever received bodywork that has been "deep enough" previously?

Are you going back to a person who doesn't provide what you want more than once? Or, are you moving on to try another?

  • I ask, because I am hoping you are not wasting your time going back to someone you don't like, hoping they will change.

I suggest you look on citysearch.com and scroll through the myriads of comments for each MT listed. Sometimes you can locate someone that fits your bill, that way. You should also take the time to look under alternative medicine, chiropractors and physical therapists in that search (as sometimes a MT will be listed under either) -

  • For example: citysearch has me listed as a sub-category under physical therapists for some reason and I have been calling and writing to them for about a year, without them changing it. It is quite annoying, but they won't do anything. :irked:

Also, if you make a specific request in thie thread for the city/state you live in, possibly one of our therapists will respond and it will give you another person to try.

I am a deep tissue therapist. And, I have no problem with providing that work for people. But, playing the other side... is it possible that you want wayyyy more than what even the best of therapists can provide (see my original question)?
 
Never Enough Pressure

73Rabbit73 said:
I realize there is almost always an additional charge for deeper work. I make it clear when I book that I am looking for a deep/strong touch and that I am willing to pay for it. (I'm sure that's annoying when people are trying to get a little extra for nothing.)

I exercize regularly and I am at a healthy weight but I am not super lean. I wear a size 6/8.

I work on a computer quite a bit and I can often feel lumps, kinks and knots in my upper back. I would love it if they were gone or at least lessened.

I do believe that harder isn't always better and I am open to almost anything if it will give me some relief. I have noticed though that one thing that feels really food is if I pinch myself quite hard along the top ridge of my traps. (My husband can't believe that that could feel good to anyone.)

I get a massage about once a week and really, it feels to me like I could use one daily. I will keep looking and trying to find a better fit for me.

I was curious to know if this was a common problem or something unique to me. Also, I don't know if it makes any difference, but my Dad and two of my siblings are also often left wanting more pressure during a massage.

Thanks for all the replies

I used to be quite popular for the aggressively deep and painful work I did. I have since learned far more effective approaches that give great relief with very little pain. I was motivated to learn alternative methods because pain during a massage may make things worse, or even create new issues.

From the statements you made (bolded above), it sounds like relief is more important to you than the level of pressure applied. Since you have had many MTs try using very deep pressure, it seems that more of the same is unlikely to give you the lasting relief you are seeking. Therefore, consider trying other (and hopefully LESS painful) methods that address the chronic position/activity stresses resulting from your occupation. Practitioners of methods such as Active Isolated Stretching, Orthopedic massage, Structural Integration, Connective Tissue massage, Rolfing, Myofascial Release ...

The best help would be work that addresses the postural/structure -related tissue stresses by rebalancing the level of muscle tone throughout your body. This includes BOTH lengthening of short tissues and strengthening of long tissues. The strengthening work should be very specific and an integral part of the treatment process. That portion of the treatment will help your body make and enjoy positive lasting changes to eliminate the chronic issues you've been dealing with. These methods require a greater level of practitioner skill and treatment sophistication, so don't be shy about asking practitioners what kind of training they've had, including (and especially) continuing education classes taken AFTER graduation from massage school.

Otherwise, you will probably just have more MTs trying to "rub the boo-boo" with varying levels of pressure (and frustration).
 
Never Enough Pressure

Pueppi, I have had massages that felt deep enough to me in the past but they have been the rarity. I just moved to Chicago a few months ago so I certainly haven't exhausted the city yet. I will be sure to check citysearch.

I have returned to some MTs that seemed like they could be a good fit for me sometimes thinking they would give me more pressure next time. I guess I hate to write someone off after only one visit. Especially if the massage was nice but just not enough pressure.

I think some of the problem is surely that "strong pressure" is such a subjective thing and can mean different things to different people.

Jason, you've given me a lot to think about. I don't feel the need to have someone pound on me necessarily, if some of the modalities you mentioned would erase these knots I would be happy.

I do have to wonder how much of this is me. I'm sort of surprised only practitioners responded. I was expecting fellow clients to write they have the same problem.

Thank you again for all the replies and suggestions.
 
Never Enough Pressure

Just thinking about this, I'm wondering if you received more *specific* work as opposed to just focusing on the pressure, if that would scratch that itch you desire. Since there are so many opinions and ideas as to what "deep tissue" means, maybe instead letting the therapist know that you're looking for very specific work - someone to take their time to work through the layers of tissue and focus on the specifics of each of the muscles as they work deeper. That can create a different feeling than someone busting themselves just trying to push harder into you.

Also, if someone comes to me asking for "deep tissue" work, I'll rarely (probably never anymore) use 100% of what force I could put into them. I always hold back *especially* in the beginning until I know how they will respond and how their body will respond. In the beginning I had too many people ask for deep work so I gave it my all and cranked into them, having them tell me through the session that the pressure was great. THEN, the next time I see them they tell me "oh - that was great! It hurt so much when you were doing it and I was sore for 3-4 days and had a bruise but that was a great massage!" Not cool. :undecided:

When I can trust that a client will tell me that they've reached a pain response and I have an idea from working on them what their body will tolerate, THEN I'm willing to do more intense work on them. That said, I prefer to use other techniques that can be just as, if not more effective than more intense ones, but if that's what a client wants, I can find ways of doing it conscientiously.
 
Never Enough Pressure

JaeMarie said:
Just thinking about this, I'm wondering if you received more *specific* work as opposed to just focusing on the pressure, if that would scratch that itch you desire. Since there are so many opinions and ideas as to what "deep tissue" means, maybe instead letting the therapist know that you're looking for very specific work - someone to take their time to work through the layers of tissue and focus on the specifics of each of the muscles as they work deeper. That can create a different feeling than someone busting themselves just trying to push harder into you.

Excellent idea! One of the things that my clients have mentioned that sets me apart from most therapists they've seen is that I am very specific and detailed oriented. I can easily spend an hour or 90 minutes on just one or two sections of the body. This gives you time to get past the more surface issues and get to the deeper layers of the body. While the pressure given isn't constantly deep, it can feel quite intense but since I work with the tissue to get it to allow me in rather than force my way in, my clients don't usually come away bruised and in pain the following day.

Angie
 
Never Enough Pressure

I do like the idea of more focused work. I feel comfortable telling an MT during a treatment that I want more pressure. Sometimes I've had people tell me they don't do their deepest work until they really know how someone's body responds to it, which is why I've been hesitant to write someone off after one massage.

I've never been sore after a massage and I've never had bruising either.

There is a place here, Pain Stop, that has a "hurt so good" reputation. (Although I'm not sure if the people there are actually LMTs.) I went there once and the woman kept asking, "Is this too hard? Is this too much?" I barely felt it and easily carried on a conversation with my friend who was sitting next to me and was flinching due to the pressure. (This was primarily a foot massage.)

I have experienced relief with Gua Sha and that was quite aggressive but that was before I moved here. Maybe I'll look into doing that again too.
 
Never Enough Pressure

JaeMarie said:
Just thinking about this, I'm wondering if you received more *specific* work as opposed to just focusing on the pressure, if that would scratch that itch you desire.

Good point!
 
Never Enough Pressure

drea543 said:
Receiving bodywork, just like giving it, is a skillset that develops over time...

As someone who recently started receiving bodywork on a regular basis as a way to deal with stress and overall wellness, I would love for EgoMagickian or someone else to elaborate on receiving bodywork as a skillset.

If there's already a thread on that subject, just point me in the right direction. :)

New thread on this subject started here: http://massageplanet.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=28750
 
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    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Sunday May 11, 2025, our attendants will be Ada ❤, Christina 🥳, Cici 😍, Ivy 🤩 and Lucy. Call us at ☎️(905) 479-6668☎️ to book!
  33. BlueXado Therapy & Spa:
  34. Pink Flower Spa:
  35. SL East Spa:
    💆‍♀💖Sexy Saturday💖 Ultimate destination for Asian massages🎉 Two fab spots: Richmond Hill & Oakville✨ Your passport to paradise with 9 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea — Cici, Yoyo, Amber, Juliet, GFE Eva,Echo,🆕Julia, Akino & Jenny🎁🍁 Ring us 📞647-695-6354 or text us 📱647-578-8169✨ 160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, RichmondHill 💰Where Eastern charm meets Western comfort - Your Black Friday Bliss is Here!🙌
  36. wonderspa:
    🌺welcome to wonder spa☎️416-5000-800,L6a4H8,. 4young beautiful girls working everyday,Ensuit shower available 🍅,new friendly nice girl CiCi,providing oil deep tissue to relax massage and nice body slide,back work,🍅nice Vietnamese Amy is very good looking,big breasted sweet smile,open maid,everything she can do,really popular,must try😍😀🌸give you comfortable amazing time🌹
  37. Lilyspa1:
    Lily Spa : ❤️❤️ SuSu ( Asian )Slim , 😍😍Porn Service 🩷🩷Elena 22, Latino French, 36 DDD and 🍑🍑ASS, 💋💋Vicky 22, Philippine mixed White , very open-Minded , 😈bbbj , DFk 🔥Duo 🔥,☎️ 6475318288
  38. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa 🌹🌹🌹3 girls 😘Table shower 、body scrub 、 Sea salt bath👍5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke☎️416-817-3366👍 Young girl Cherry (Student)😘😘“charming breasts.”beautiful curvy hips.”very provocative service😘😘😘, professional super Suki sexy body beautiful boots 36D deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise😍😍😍😍❤️ You are welcome to make an appointme
  39. 89moonstar&MoonMoon:
    MoonMoon spa/416 887 8801/8131Yonge st #203 Persian girl and Asian girl in today &&& Bradford location 89 Holland st E west Gwillimbury 6477129688 2 hot latin girls today
  40. Red Rose Spa:
    🌸 We have 5 hot brown girls today 🌸 ASHA, JANVI, MONIKA, SASHA, AMANDA, PAOLA, JOEY, SARIKA, KIRAN, SALMA 🌸 2588 Birchmount 🌸 2 Invergordon 🌸 647-702-8800 🌸 Please visit for a great erotic massage
  41. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    ✨Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! ✅ Click Here Today🌸Candy🌸Vivian🌸Amber🌸Lily Call us ☎ 905 - 265 - 2158☎️ Your ultimate service awaits! ✨
  42. wilson holistic centre:
    💕💕Beautiful Korean girl working at 382 Wilson Ave 💕💕☎️☎️416-840-0071❤️❤️
  43. AliceSpa:
    SATURDAY at 𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟮𝟵𝟴-𝟬𝟴𝟵𝟴. 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough 416-298-0898 [/color] Alice spa has 4 attractive honeys today. Open 10am to 9pm: CLAUDIA: is Viernamese, young, petite 5'2" & 96 Lbs, B Cup, best rim deep bbbj cim. $40 Room Fee + $80 (incl bbbj & fs). +$20 for rim/cim. Excellent open minded services. SHERRY (12pm-9pm): is tall
  44. ForeverWarden:
    Saturday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Gigi, Sara & Tracy. Gigi is slim and young, with long hair, very skinny, good massage. Sara is young & slim with nice C Cups, trim waist, sexy bum and long hair. She is vary friendly uses her assets well. Tracy is an incredibly cute & pretty Japanese/Taiwanese mixed spinner
  45. HolidaySpa:
    Saturday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️: AMY & MAGGIE. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Don’t miss out on her special skills! Maggie is sweet, slim and very talented. 🌴😎🌅HOLIDAY SPA🌅😎🌴 3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4 (Kennedy Rd & Steeles Ave E)
  46. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 young girls are working today, young sweet kitty 26’s slime open mind and young flirty Michelle 26’s with sexy body open mind,young sexy flirt Yoyo 36DD with curve body open mind 30’s and Cute GFE Lina are providing deep tissue massage, pls call 4163985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome,back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  47. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️( 647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️( 437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥 💯REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯 🔥💋Limited Time Special Promotion🔥💋 ✅💦30 Minutes Nude Massage
  48. Lilyspa1:
    Lily Spa : ❤️❤️ SuSu ( Asian )Slim , 😍😍Porn Service 🩷🩷Elena 22, Latino French, 36 DDD and 🍑🍑ASS, 💋💋Vicky 22, Philippine mixed White , very open-Minded , 😈bbbj , DFk 🔥Duo 🔥,☎️ 6475318288
  49. luckywellness:
    Lucky Wellness Center 4379721888 295 Eglinton Ave E,Unit 7,Mississauga We have two girls serving today. Suki and water, they are both young, pretty, cute and good at massage.
  50. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️ (647) 891-9688☎️ ☎️ (416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 9:30am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Judy😘🔥Our new Asian massage girl Judy is a vision of refined sensuality, with a graceful figure and smooth, flawless skin that radiates warmth and allure. Her striking black hair frames her delicate features, and her poised
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