uncomfortable...

[Cherryblossum]

I just had my first massage at the student clinic where I'm going to school at! It was a really great experience, and I have felt much better for the past week and a half (I have chronic trapezius pain) It was supposed to be a full body massage, but we spent most of the time on my shoulders and didn't really do anything else. I am very body self conscious , and wasn't really ready to have anyone massage me anywhere other than my back. But now school is starting to do glute and leg massage, and I will have to have that done as a part of class. I'm wondering if I'm even putting this in the right place, but if I can't even have a licensed MT work on me in those areas, how am I going to have a classmate do it? I am very overweight, and I dunno... Just makes me nervous to think about it. I have an appointment with the LMT again in two weeks, do you have any tips for psyching myself up or controlling my wierd feelings or anything in that time? Or even sooner would be better, because we start legs and glutes in class next week . Thanks for any info.
nikki

 

[Wondrer]

uncomfortable...

First of all, I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone who does not have some self-consciousness to some degree. As uncomfortable as it may be, though, you could think of the class room experience as a good learning tool. Not just for the technique, but also to think about what some of your future clients may be going through, and what you could do to help them with that.

Perhaps there is someone in your class who you feel comfortable enough with to confide in them and ask them to work with you on that day?

As MTs, we see people of all shapes, sizes, ages, fitness levels, colors, etc. As someone on this forum once stated (and I can't recall who it was): Every Body is beautiful.

Also, take some time to skim through the student forum here and see if you find some helpful info there.

In any case, best of luck, and don't dwell on it. When the day comes, just try to breathe and let yourself experience without judgment.

 

[Charlotte]

uncomfortable...

I'm also a big girl, I found massage school was EXACTLY the the right thing for me to get over my body issues and get comfortable with myself!

For me it helped to remember that tissue is tissue is tissue, whether it's on your neck, back, arms, thighs, glutes or abdomen. The therapist is touching skin that covers a layer of adipose tissue which covers muscle and bone. The only difference is that people have differing amounts of these tissues in different areas of their bodies. Also, when you are working on a classmate, are you thinking "OH MY GOSH! LOOK AT THAT!!!!" or are you respectfully paying attention to them, working your way through whatever the lesson is? Find a partner that you're confident is respectful, and they should return the same to you. It might also help if you work first in the trade, so that you know where things are going and don't feel so surprised.

Give yourself a chance, and you might even find that you like some of the work .

 

[LMT]

uncomfortable...

When I was in school, I was paired up with a very large woman the first time we worked on glutes and hips. A few days before, she came up to me and said it was okay if I would prefer to switch to a different partner, because she was very large, older, and felt that I might prefer to work on a younger, "better" body. She was clearly very self-conscious and seemed worried about "forcing" me to work on her.

What she didn't realize is that learning to work on a larger person is a critical skill. If I passed up the opportunity to work on her, I would miss out on a very important aspect of my training. On the other hand, if she permitted me to do the work, it would really help me prepare to work as a professional.

We were partners for glutes/hips, and it was a great experience for both of us. For me, it was a real confidence-booster, and I have never been worried about whether I'd be able to work effectively with a large person since that day.

To Darling:
Your discomfort mirrors that of many future clients. The world is full of people that are uncomfortable with their bodies, and for many you will be one of the few people to see and touch those areas. It is vital that you learn to accept massage and experience what it can do for you. Observe and try to understand your feelings, and notice how they change. Consider seeing a professional MT before receiving the work from a student, and see if that helps. Also, try to understand that your body and your fears are a gift to your fellow students. You offer them a chance to learn things that a smaller person can not, and they will be better therapists because of you.

 

[Heather T]

uncomfortable...

Many of us are uncomfortable in the beginning - as none of us wishes to be "judged".
It probably won't make it any easier but in school it really isn't about you - all the students are much more concerned about themselves, learning, and doing a good job.
And as a receiver of massage, there is no better experience than to know and understand what your client may be feeling - emotionally and physically.

I had a client a couple of days ago - very large thru the hips, but she really needed work there. Her regular therapist has never worked the areas that I did in our first session. I suggested that she let him know that she would be comfortable with him working on the glutes (she has known him for years and is not shy at all). Trust me - for low back and sciiatic pain, you and every client you will have, WANTS this work and will be extremely appreciative. I am rather shy about my body myself, but not at all with a competent, confident therapist

So - feel the fear and do it anyway. Keep your focus on getting the most out of the experience whether you are giving or receiving.

 

[Kala]

uncomfortable...

I agree with all that has been said here. I'm not a small person myself, and my thighs and posterior are on the large side. I also have ugly veins too, so I was really self concious on the table. For me this is where I hold all of my stress, so I knew I needed the work. After the first few moments, I concentrated on the strokes, what they felt like, what was missing, what I liked and didn't like. You'll soon find yourself not worrying at all.

We are all bodies, made up of tissue, in all shapes and sizes, each one is beautiful in its own way.

Good luck, and keep us posted of your progress. :massage:

 

[Riley S:)]

uncomfortable...

Don't worry! Even girls who are a size 2 don't like their bodies lol. While you worry you are "squishy", they worry that they are "bony". Remember that all people come in all shapes, and you will be working on and with people who are different sizes for the rest of your career!

I know it seems really embarrassing and scary now, but trust me, after a while it won't phase you at all. It feels GREAT to get glute and leg massage, just relax and enjoy your session. I promise they will be more focused on learning techniques and finding muscles than thinking about your body shape.

 

[Some Slack]

uncomfortable...

:iagree:

i'm a student and started off feeling self conscious during our hands-on training. i got over it quickly - as soon as i realized that my classmates are there for the same reason i am. i'm there to learn how to help people feel better. i don't just want to help a certain type of person. i want to be able to help every person who comes to me. i'm not in school to judge people by their body type and neither are any of my classmates.

also - since i started giving student massage during clinical i have had the opportunity to work on a body substantially larger than my own. the client was very comfortable on the table and communicated with me a lot in order to get the most out of her massage. what i learned in that session, along with her satisfaction was a great confidence booster for me. she had absolutely no reason to feel like her weight was being scrutinized and neither should you... nor shoul i

 

[Apple Pi]

uncomfortable...

As everyone has already shared, many people aren't confident at first - either being worked on or giving work in those areas of the body we aren't happy or comfortable with. So welcome to the club! I'd venture to say that most women I know aren't especially happy & satisfied with their bodies, and each have areas we are less willing to expose to the eyes of anyone.

You are giving the other students both an opportunity & a gift, by allowing them to work on you. If you were going to work on another person with a body like your own, I'm sure you would do your best to be as sensitive as possible to their needs & reassure them, if needed, that you are not there to judge them in any way other than to determine which areas need attention & to serve the individual in the best way possible for them. You should expect the same attitude from your fellow students & remember you are all there to learn. With that comes giving yourself the chance to trust in them & yourself.

Take the time to look at yourself in the mirror & say I accept myself & my body, I love myself & my body, and know that it is true.... and Breathe....

 

[wilsonrocket]

uncomfortable...

It's never bothered me to work on larger people. At first, when I was initially learning it was more of a challenge, but that challenge was well worth it. Most people that I have worked with haven't had a 'perfect' body. Everyone is a different size and shape and my thoughts when working with someone is finding the muscles, working the area properly and helping the person on the table.

I remember the first time someone asked me (this person is NOT a massage therapist or student) if it was 'weird' to work on overweight people. It took me a minute to understand what they were trying to ask. I was like "Huh??" Like someone else already said, we are so consumed with ourselves as students and trying to 'get it right' I don't think there is that much time to be making judgments about others bodies.

An important note: for anyone that might have a judgement, I think massage school is great. We learn such a respect for people and their body - no matter the shape or size. It's been a wonderful experience.

I hope that you enjoy your schooling and ALLL that massage your are going to be getting!!

 

[aqua_diente]

uncomfortable...

This is a great opportunity for you as many have already noted. Empathy for larger clients, learning to overcome your own areas of selfconsciousness, working on different bodies.

I have my own area that I dislike-my stomach. When I went to school, the oldest in the class, surrounded by mostly 18-25 year olds with slender, lovely bodies. I was 39, a little overweight and had had 2 children, with the accompanying stretch marks (that no one but my husband and Dr have seen!) When we learned abdominal massage, I did NOT want to bare my stomach. I dreaded the thought of it. There was another woman, closer to my age, also a mom, who didn't want to either but she said she would if I did. I thought I really needed to know how it felt so I gritted my teeth and said go for it. Matters weren't helped when the 18 year old working on me took one look at my tummy and said "Ew! What are THOSE?" (stretch marks).

I looked her in the eye and said "Those are my badges of honor for having two lovely sons. And I HOPE you NEVER SAY THAT TO A CLIENT." (For the record, I liked her, I wasn't upset and wanted to laugh actually but I thought she better learn to think before she opened her mouth like that again.)

Over the years I have become very comfortable with the human body in every conceivable size, shape, color and condition. When I went to aesthetician training and we learned how to do body scrubs, there was a woman who was in her 50s and asked me if I would *please* be her partner for the scrubs as I was used to working on all kinds of bodies and she felt very selfconscious about hers and "I just think I'll be really comfortable with you working on me because you see all kinds of bodies every day. And you act like a professional." I was very happy to be her partner, and she felt pretty much ok with me working on her. I knew how she felt laying on that table.

I will say one more thing - give me a body with some extra weight on it any day, to work on! I prefer them.

 

[dole61]

uncomfortable...

I looked her in the eye and said "Those are my badges of honor for having two lovely sons. And I HOPE you NEVER SAY THAT TO A CLIENT." (For the record, I liked her, I wasn't upset and wanted to laugh actually but I thought she better learn to think before she opened her mouth like that again.)

t041 t041 t041

exactly

 

[Suzanne]

uncomfortable...

Thank you so much for all your kind words! It's really good to hear from people who have already made it through this part and are encouraging and kind! Thank you again so much
P.S. - What effect (if any) do you think my being obese will hinder my job search once I'm finally done in school?

 

[Jax]

uncomfortable...

While being overweight shouldn't be an issue for employment I do think there are some hurdles unfortunately. Years ago I was working in retail & the store I was at as an asst. manager was hiring. One of the women who came in to apply was overweight & my male boss (who was carrying a more than a few extra pounds himself) commented right after she left that he would never hire (his words) "a fat person" to work in his store. I was appalled to say the least. She was perfectly qualified for the job she wanted, dressed nicely, and had done well in the interview.

Personally I think so long as your health is not a concern, and your abilities are what an employer is seeking that is what should matter. The reality is that we are all at least partially judged on our appearance and on the perception/attitudes of those doing the hiring.

 

[K W]

uncomfortable...

I will say one more thing - give me a body with some extra weight on it any day, to work on! I prefer them.

Me too!! I am thin but I love working on people with some meat on them!
What I have learned over the years..no one has a "perfect body" every one has their own flaw. I don't judge anyone that is on my table.(I don't do it outside of work either) Well unless you have dog poop on the bottom of your feet and are expecting a foot massage (had that happen :shock: ) Didn't really judge though was more so disgusted,as anyone would be.

 

[stymie]

uncomfortable...

I can't say how much it will affect your job search, after all no one knows what others think about the people they're interviewing (unless they're stupid enough to *tell* people their own prejudices) but thinking about all the bodworkers around here, there is every body shape imaginable. One local guy who has built up a successful practice is not only a *big* guy but is very heavily tattooed. I know several MTs who are very large people and have been working for years in this field. Perhaps many MTs are more accepting of all body types because we know how the average body really looks? Working on everyday people, I have yet to see many perfect bodies.

 

[Claudia]

uncomfortable...

The only downside to being large and looking for a job is that MANY employers have too tiny massage rooms.

It's ridiculous - I have seen rooms that are barely big enough for the table, let alone giving enough room for a person to work around the table.

FWIW - the majority of clients LIKE being worked on by a larger person. I am not sure of all the reasons but it's TRUE!

 

[Lyn badz]

uncomfortable...

Welcome my dear!

Funny, I almost didn't sign up for massage school because I thought big people wouldn't be allowed. I have no idea where I got that notion, I for some reason thought I would be the very first overweight massage therapist in the history of massage. :

There are two points I would like to make aside from all the wonderful points already listed above:

1. As a woman with a clearly imperfect body, let me offer this way to think of it: (in my expereince) some women will let their guard down more, they feel they can relax more. They are relieved when they see 'me'. They may not feel judged or as uncomfortable as they may possibly feel exposing themselves and letting themselves be vulnerable to a therapist with a classically beautiful body. I love this! I love giving women safe, nurturing and loving touch. I know I get to touch more of their bodies then even their S.O. even gets to get close to, that is a gift.

2. We have more body weight for when we use our body mechanics and lean into strokes - clients love that!

 

[Kaira]

uncomfortable...

^^^^What she said.